Sitting in my car with tears streaming down my face I think about two things.
First – I think about how life changes. Change shakes up routine and can take us away from the things we love most. Change is scary. Change is sad. Change is weird.
Second – I think about the beautiful grace of God. It is a grace strong enough to make you stop whatever you’re doing and be overcome by its power. Grace is lovely. Grace is undeserved. Grace is glorious.
The craziest thing about change and grace is that they work together in life to produce beauty. Sometimes it takes change for us to realize the weight of the grace we have been given. Feeling the weight of His grace doesn’t always look pretty (especially for me it seems).
Today I stopped to fill up with gas, and when I took the nozzle out it continued to pour gasoline all over me and my car. Fabulous right? After being helped by the kindest man that reminded me of my Dad (I think an angel) I was back on my way to work covered in gasoline and on the verge of an emotional breakdown. I started to thank God for my Dad (who would have been my go-to back home for something like this) and began to sob. I felt the weight of The Lord’s gracious gift that is my family. This led to thanking Him for everything I have that I did nothing to deserve…including His grace. Once I began thanking Him for the grace upon grace He has given me…I couldn’t even see the road through my tears.
“Out of his fullness we have all recieved grace in place of grace already given. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” – John 1:16-17
So…for me…letting His grace rest on me fully looked like me pulling over on my way to work ugly sobbing and drenched in gasoline.
He likes to move when we least expect it and when He knows we need it most. I think there is so much beauty in the mystery of His grace. We don’t deserve it. We will never understand it. And sometimes we just have to cry our little hearts out about it.
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” -Psalm 56:8